Each year, the Junk Mail Monster destroys about 68 million trees, wastes 28 billion gallons of water, and costs about $450,000,000 of your money to cart its promos, pleas, and promises to and from incinerators, garbage dumps, and recycling centers. It is ravenous. It gobbles up resources as it seeks to separate you from your hard earned money. Each of us will spend an average of eight entire months of our lives dueling with the Monster. If we don't stop it early and often, it can swell out of control and literally deluge us with junk mail.

For an initial investment of about a half hour of your time and some stalwart vigilance hereafter, you can yank out the teeth of your Junk Mail Monster, shrink it down to almost nothing, and reclaim months of your life. Here's how:

1. Keep a pair of scissors handy and start saving the labels of all the variations of the names and addresses which come to your mail box. Make a game out of finding as many versions as you can. Every variation, no matter how small (or comical) is another name on a list which gets bought and sold without your signature or permission.
2. Send each variation, along with a note asking to be deleted from mailing lists, to:
   Mail Preference Service
   Direct Marketing Association, Inc.
   PO Box 9008
   Farmingdale, NY 11735-9008.
3. Remember and use the following magic words EVERY time you buy anything, give to charity, or sign up for a contest: Please do not sell, rent, or trade my name!

Stop the Credit Card Monster!

Are you tired of your mail asking you to sign up for yet another piece of plastic? Begging you to spend; to go into debt? Last years' changes to the federal credit reporting act can help you stop credit card companies from sending you all that unwanted plastic. Simply call the toll free number listed below and your name will be removed from these lists for two years. To be removed from the list permanently, call and request that a form be sent to you.

Experian (formerly TRW) 1-800-353-0809